Alice. (dulcetwonder) wrote in impero_rpg,
Alice.
dulcetwonder
impero_rpg

What now?

Who: James, Sirius
Where: Somewhere between the Heads Dorm and Gryffindor Tower
When: NOW! Saturday. =)

Pulling a hand through his hair, James got off of his bed, and slipped into his shoes. It was very imperative that he talked to Sirius. Before things got much more serious with Lily. He had to make sure that Sirius was.. okay. James knew that Sirius had spoken to Lily. She had said as much. But he didn't know why. James would have figured this as a prime opportunity for Sirius to keep him all to himself. James almost thought it was going to end up that way too.

Until Sirius spoke with Lily.

Confused, James set out from his room and dorm, casting a nervous glance towards Lily's room. He didn't know what was going to happen. But he was going to make sure that it wasn't something he would regret later.

They were just going to talk, was all. That's all. James felt a sort of emptiness in his stomach as he traversed the halls towards Gryffindor Tower where he expected Sirius to be.
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With a heavy sigh, Sirius knew that James was about to find him. It was inevitable, and Sirius supposed that they did have to talk, and make things right, or whatever it was that they had to do. But it wasn't going to be easy. This sort of thing was never easy.

Still, he ran through the things that he was going to say to James, providing some sort of explanation for his actions. Would James just accept it? He didn't want everything to be ruined. It seemed easy enough to understand. Sirius didn't want their lives ruined, so he did something about it. In his head it sounded flimsy, but he couldn't think of anything else to add without sounding like a complete wanker. Sirius ran through the lines in his head as he clambered through the portrait hole, pulling a mirror out of his pocket and speaking into it.

"So, where are you?" he asked quietly, keeping himself reserved and pretending that this wasn't as important as anyone thought it was. It wasn't a big deal. He was just meeting James and they were going to talk and then nothing else would happen. At all. Sirius sighed and shook his head.
When he heard Sirius's voice coming from the mirror, James practically jumped. He had forgotten all about it. It was just stuffed in his pocket, and he hardly ever thought about it. Scrambling for the piece of glass, James brought it out and to his face. "Third floor. Headed to the fourth now. Meet you by the fifth floor stairs." He said slowly.

This was it. They were finally going to talk. James hadn't spoken much to Sirius since.. that night. The night he told Lily. Since then it'd been nothing of real substance between the two.
"Watch out around the fourth floor," Sirius quickly warned the mirror with a cringe in his voice. He wasn't about to elaborate, but he knew James wouldn't ask. It had been an accident, anyway. Sliding the mirror into his pocket, he changed his direction, making his way down a staircase and then swiftly moving down a different corridor, ignoring portraits as they whispered when he walked by.

Sirius had no idea of what he was going to say. There was too much that had gone on, wasn't there? What could he have said? Walking down another staircase, he stopped at the foot and sat down. This was where they were meeting. There was nothing he could do but wait, crossing his arms over his knees and tapping his foot, just so that he had something to do.
James blinked. Watch the fourth floor? What had he done? And without him? James shook his head, and made his way to their arranged meeting place. As he approached he noticed Sirius sitting on the stairs. "Padfoot," He called out in a small voice.

Sliding the mirror back in his pocket, James ruffled his hair, standing quite a ways from the other boy. "Hi," He called out across the distance between them. What else was there to say, really?
Looking up, Sirius smiled a bit and reclined back on the stairs, leaning back on his elbows casually. "Hi," he replied, the first and only thing coming to mind. There he was, looking so much better than he had in some time, and Sirius knew that it was because he was happy again, and he knew that it was a good thing and that this was so much better than how it was before, but it still hurt Sirius slightly to see it. James didn't need him as much anymore. Acknowledging the stairs, Sirius shrugged a bit. "You can sit down," he said, pushing over slightly and praying that it wouldn't be as awkward. "They're not infected."
Frowning, James considered the stairs before him. "Are you sure?" He asked warily. They seem to be a bit poisonous. I mean, you are sitting on them, after all." He looked up at the boy, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"But I might as well take my chances," James nodded solemnly, walking towards the stairs and sitting down right next to Sirius. He too leaned back, dropped his head on one of the stairs, looking up towards the ceiling. "Well, here we are." He said, not sure what else to say.
Rolling his eyes, Sirius smirked as James sat down. "Ha ha, now you're diseased," he said, returning the smile and then looking straight ahead. What was he supposed to say? James was the one that wanted to talk to him. "Yes," he agreed, his mind blanking.
Sirius looked so sad that James wanted to reach out and hold him. In fact, his arm was half lifted when he recalled just why he couldn't do that. He let it drop, staring at the offending limb. This was so hard. He just.. things could have worked out so wonderfully.. had he handled things better. He was sure of it.

"Sirius." James started, frowning at the ceiling. "Lily and I are together again." He stated, as if the boy didn't know. Well, he might not have, because James hadn't specifically said anything about it to anyone. It wasn't any of their business, to be honest.
Sirius nodded his head, making sure to look away from James. Anywhere else would have worked. The floor, the ceiling, the painting that was staring at them awkwardly..Anywhere. "I know," he assured, guessing by James's appearance and recent mannerisms that things were better. "I'm glad," he added carefully, the inflection in his voice changing to politely congratulatory and he smiled weakly. "About time."
James sat up properly, clasping his hands in his lap. "Sirius," He started, but then paused. Where did he want to take this? It was important to him to know.. but Sirius might not want to talk about it. And if James stayed here too long, around him with no one else about, he might.. No. No, he couldn't.

"Why did you talk to her?" Finally came out in a weak voice. James figured he might as well start with the big question.
His teeth clenching, unable to really know how to answer, Sirius lay back against the staircase and clasped his hands over his stomach, finally looking over at James. He had never felt so awkward around his best mate. It was unsettling. "Because I needed to," he replied honestly, looking into James's eyes past his glasses unwaveringly. "I couldn't leave you so broken and dead like that, could I?"
James kept his gaze for about a minute before looking away. "Sirius... why, though? You could have had me to yourself," He looked up at the boy again, his eyes bright. "Don't pretend like you haven't thought about it before. It could have been like last year," He shrugged a little helplessly.

"I love you, you know that?" James whispered. "And I love her. I.. understand that I need to be with her. I just want to know why? Is there someone else? Did you stop loving me? I can't go on being happy, Padfoot, unless I know." He was being selfish again, but it was important to him.
"Sure, could have been like last year," Sirius said with a derisive snort. "Continually distracting you from Lily, right. Would have been great." He shook his head and bit back any harshness that he might have said. "You never have stopped loving her, and you never would have. There was no point anymore, you great prat."

Looking over warily, Sirius let out a sigh. How could he have explained this? "Shut up, Prongs," he said, closing his eyes and bringing a hand to his temple. "I didn't want to see you so stupidly unhappy anymore. There is no one else. And no, I have not stopped." He brought his hand down. "Not everyone is as self-absorbed as you are," he said jokingly, a slight smirk playing on his lips.
James wasn't sure whether to be happy or not. Or to smile, or laugh. Or anything. He felt a little empty inside. "It could have worked," He murmured quietly, more to himself than anything.

Standing up suddenly, James's eyes darted everywhere. Everywhere but at Sirius. "I guess I'll just go then."
Sirius shook his head. "No, it couldn't have," he said flatly, "we're all too greedy." He hated to answer so harshly, and especailly about something so..important to James, but there was no other way.

"You could go," Sirius said exasperatedly, standing up as well. "Or you could stop being a wanker and talk to me." He reached out a hand to the boy's forearm, just to get his attention, before letting it drop. "Please, James. It was to make you happy again."

dulcetwonder

11 years ago

__blackdog

11 years ago

dulcetwonder

11 years ago

__blackdog

11 years ago

dulcetwonder

11 years ago